When I first stepped into the world of motherhood, I was unprepared for the profound and constant demands of being a Stay-at-Home Mom (SAHM). My preconceptions of SAHM life were so far from reality, and I had to quickly confront the truth: stay-at-home moms work harder than anyone can imagine, and society too often fails to recognize their value.
Let’s shatter some of the most common myths about SAHMs, starting with a crucial one.
1. "SAHMs don't work."
The idea that SAHMs don’t “work” is not just misleading—it’s deeply untrue. What SAHMs do is work, and it requires an incredible amount of stamina, multitasking, and emotional labor. The difference is, this work happens within the home, for their family, and without a paycheck.
SAHMs wear multiple hats—teacher, nurse, chef, housekeeper, emotional anchor, chauffeur, event planner, and more. They are constantly juggling a multitude of tasks, often without a break. From the moment their children wake up to the time they go to bed (and even during the night), the responsibilities are endless. Unlike jobs that come with fixed hours, there is no time clock for SAHMs.
A day might look like this: preparing meals, feeding children, changing diapers, supervising playtime, organizing nap schedules, running errands, cleaning up messes, all while providing emotional and physical care. Even a quick trip to the bathroom can feel like a luxury, especially for SAHMs without a support system or “village” to help carry the load. It’s work without pause, and it comes with no sick leave, no paid vacation, and no breaks. Research has even shown that stay-at-home parents experience some of the highest levels of stress, with their cortisol levels often elevated beyond those in high-stress professional jobs .
SAHM life is an intense form of labor that requires strength, patience, and a deep well of love. And yet, it’s invisible to much of the world.
2. "A SAHM's role is replaceable."
While childcare and education can be outsourced, the role of a SAHM is so much more than caregiving. The emotional connection between a mother and her children simply cannot be replaced. A mother is her child’s first teacher, and that teaching goes beyond ABCs and 123s. It’s about shaping character, instilling values, and nurturing the emotional development of the child. These are responsibilities that mainstream schools and childcare centers cannot replicate.
A SAHM plays a critical role in building the moral foundation of her children, passing on traditions, values, and a sense of identity rooted in the family. This connection—this lifelong bond—is something only a mother can foster, and it forms the bedrock of a child’s development.
3. "Being a SAHM is easy."
Stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) often face unique mental health challenges, including a higher risk of depression, which is linked to societal pressures and isolation. Many SAHMs experience a sense of diminished worth due to the undervaluation of their unpaid work. This societal lack of recognition contributes to feelings of invisibility and frustration.
Isolation is another significant contributor to depression among SAHMs. They often find it challenging to maintain friendships or build a social network, as the demands of childcare leave little time or energy to invest in personal relationships.
Science makes us aware that SAHMs face elevated stress levels. Caring for children, managing household duties, and lacking breaks create high levels of cortisol, the body's stress hormone. A constant state of stress without reprieve, paired with the emotional labor involved in mothering, makes SAHM work one of the most emotionally and physically taxing roles.
Empowering the SAHM Community
To all the SAHMs reading this: you are strong, resilient, and you matter. The love and work you put into your children’s lives has impact that will last for generations. You are literally shaping the future.
So let's keep talking about our work, even the most minute details. For it is our work that brings safety and stability to homes, societies and economies. The invisible effort we put in every single day is seen and felt, even if not always acknowledged.
References:
McKenna, C., & Casey, R. (2016). Mothers at Home: Work and Wellbeing. National Bureau of Economic Research. Shapiro, J., & Thompson, K. (2014). The Invisible Workload: Caregiving, Stress, and Cortisol Levels.
