Becoming Mr and Mrs is an exciting milestone, but it also comes with surprises.
We had the privilege to chat with Benjamin Loh to understand what one can expect in the first 365 days after you say "I do."
Benjamin is a well known Singapore-based speaking coach, also the busy founder of Flare Communications.
You might remember him from his viral wedding gatecrash (which was even reported on Mothership) because his Facebook post literally had to go viral within an hour for him to successfully ‘fetch’ his bride.
Married life is thankfully less high-profile for this introvert turned accomplished professional speaker.
We enjoyed taking sneak peeks into this young couple's marital life and learned much from his insightful revelations regarding the first year of marriage:
1. Life becomes less frenetic
"No more wedding planning madness, striking off the endless checklists… and suddenly life returns to normal until work (or another life) comes into play."
2. Small differences get magnified
"Where you keep your wares, how you do your laundry, when you have to do your housecleaning (assuming you don’t have a helper) all magnifies the differences you’ve had in your family."
3. A daily routine of “what will you like to have for dinner?" is developed
"Cooking in or eating out till a point you decide it takes too much willpower to plan."
4. You learn to appreciate and enjoy each other’s silence (more)
"Specially if you’re living on your own, you find solace in the quiet moments that both of you contribute to."
5. You realize that the path before is nothing compared to the journey ahead
(And this is coming from a couple who had dated for 8 years, checked.)
"But when you look at the journey ahead with all that is possible and required, you can’t help but wonder how your parents did it in the past to bring up a family like yours."
It is clear that marriage is no bed of roses, or fairytale, or walk in the park. As a married couple gets habituated to a new life together, many decisions have to be made together, which requires understanding and compromise. Effort (and some say hard work) has to be put in to keep the sparks alive.
We love Benjamin's mentality of looking up to other couple(s) for inspiration. Seeing how others have built a strong and stable marriage gives you the affirmation that it can be done.
We're not experts but we really liked this wedding advice given to one of our miracle workers on her wedding day -- Think of your life and your relationship as a living organism that is constantly growing and evolving. Do something different and beneficial for your marriage every single day and your marriage will blossom into how you envisioned it to be.
Thank you Benjamin and Xin Hui (his gracious wife) for the golden nuggets of wisdom and sharing! Be blessed with a lifetime of happiness together!
We hope you enjoyed this article 5 Things That Will Definitely Happen In Your First Year Of Marriage!
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Hi! I am Yunnie. I am the newly minted mama to a little baby girl and a mum friend to everyone on this special (and many times scary) journey of motherhood. Also a graduated bride with a penchant for weddings.