What No One Told Me About Being a New Mother

Before I became one, I confess - I underestimated both the work required of (and the strain upon) a new mother.

Sure, I knew about the 2-3 hourly feedings.

But no one told me that some babies deviate (mine is a punctual 1.5 hour alarm clock) so it could feel like I am nursing my entire day away.

Sure, I knew breastfeeding isn't easy.

But no one told me there is something brutal called cluster feeding and my greatest enemy would be recurrent milk blisters.

Sure, I knew bottle-feeding requires a lot of work - pumping, washing, sterilising and drying.

But no one told me some babies actually reject the bottle, regardless of how hungry they are and how "mother-like" the bottle teat claims to be.

Sure, I knew about the constant diaper changes.

But no one told me poo may frequently explode out of a diaper, calling for a need for laundry even in the dead of the night.

Sure, I knew baby clothes are hard to buy.

But no one told me sizing across brands is so inconsistent that my 3mo baby wears a NB cardigan, 6-9m bodysuit, 3-6m leggings and 0-3m socks. /insert exasperated expression

Sure, I knew babies cry a lot.

But no one told me I would turn into a wuss when it is mine crying.

Sure, I knew that babies can't go to sleep on their own and require sleep aid.

But no one told me it would stretch the very limits of my patience as I dedicate hours each day petting, cradling, rocking, hushing, swaying, pacing, bouncing and babywearing.

Sure, I knew that babies don't sleep long.

But no one told me "sleep like a baby" is an absolute lie. Babies are the lightest sleepers in the world, they can't stay asleep!!!

Sure, I knew that babies can be clingy.

But no one told me they come with an inbuilt sensor that makes leaving their side, awake or asleep, impossible.

Sure, I knew that babies may run a fever after a vaccination.

But no one told me they may exacerbate things with a milk strike. And as parents you fall sick too - worried sick.

Sure, I knew babies don't have regular breathing rhythms.

But no one told me I would be so paranoid as to placing a finger under baby's nose to check her breathing several times in the night when she is very still.

That if I were to make accidental mistakes as a mum, I won't be able to easily forgive myself for them.

That should baby suffer the slightest hurt in my care, it would literally break me.

Just like no one told me that my personal KPIs would eventually become the weight she gains, and the fat rolls she acquires.

That the gravity of my world would shift and baby is at the permanent center of it.

That I would live through the drudgery of everyday life to catch baby's fleeting smiles.

That I would fall in love with someone other than my husband so hard and so fast.

That of all the achievements I've made in my life, my proudest is being a mum.