Toileting is an important milestone in every child’s journey, and approaching it with respect and gentleness can foster a positive and empowering experience.
Whether you’re following a Montessori-style toileting method or simply looking for supportive resources, the right books can help guide you and your child through this transition with respect and understanding.
In this post, I’m sharing my top book recommendations that align with Montessori principles, including some Chinese titles that naturally open the door to discussions about body safety.
1. Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi
Pros: A playful and light-hearted introduction to the fact that every person or animal poops. Pooping is a normal and healthy bodily function.
It helps children understand that as long as they are inputs, there are outputs. Poop isn't something "dirty" or to be ashamed of.
The book also illustrates the different pooping behaviours and habits of people and animals, which is helpful as I introduce a new toileting approach to my toddler, who's been used to being diapered since birth.
Cons: Book of minimal words, reading caregivers please be prepared to self-generate content and enrich conversations with rich language.
2. Going to the Potty by Fred Rogers
Pros: Mister Rogers is known for his gentle, reassuring approach. This book addresses common concerns children may have about toileting, making it great for easing anxieties.
Cons: Content may be a little dry for toddlers.
3. Your Body Belongs to You (Chinese: 请不要随便摸我) by Cornelia Spelman
Pros: A great body safety book that introduces the concept of bodily autonomy.
It helps children understand they are in control of their bodies, and empower them to say "no" to any touch (even from a trusted caregiver). These messages are important and timely during toileting when young children may need caregivers' help with wiping their bottoms, putting on their underpants etc.
Cons: The "private area" is described as the body areas covered by swimwear. It should be more specific so children have clearer understanding and no ambiguity on this important topic.
This book can be bought from My Story Treasury.
4. The Story of Little Bird (Chinese: 小鸡鸡的故事)
Pros: This book is written in a way that tries to bridge gender equality. It talks about body parts in an engaging and relatable way.
I particularly like the way the book empowers children to trust their instinct when it comes to stranger danger. When I'm reading to my children, I would add that "dangerous strangers" are not always strangers, they are people in caregivers' social circles.
Research consistently shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases involve perpetrators known to the child or family. According to a comprehensive study by the U.S. Department of Justice, about 60% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are known to the child but are not family members, such as family friends, babysitters, child care providers, or neighbors. An additional 30% of perpetrators are family members (Snyder, 2000). This underscores the importance of teaching children to be aware of suspicious behaviors from any adult, not just strangers.
Key warning signs to teach children include:
- Adults who ask children to keep secrets from their trusted caregivers
- Individuals who try to spend time alone with children
- Anyone who makes the child feel uncomfortable or scared
The book helps to normalize conversations about the body, making it easier to segue into body safety and toileting topics. It's practical too, like teaching children to wash their underpants before putting into the washer with other clothes for a second wash.
Cons: The book shares that gender is decided by physical characteristics. However, this perspective oversimplifies the complex nature of gender identity.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines gender identity as "a person's deeply-felt, inherent sense of being a boy, a man, or male; a girl, a woman, or female; or an alternative gender." This definition acknowledges that gender identity is an internal experience that may or may not correspond with the sex assigned at birth based on physical characteristics.
A more inclusive approach would recognize that:
- Gender identity is a personal, internal sense of being male, female, both, neither, or another gender.
- Gender expression refers to how a person presents their gender externally through behavior, clothing, voice, or other characteristics.
- Biological sex refers to physical characteristics such as chromosomes, hormones, and reproductive organs.
These aspects can align or differ for any individual, reflecting the diversity of human experience. By acknowledging this complexity, we can foster a more inclusive and understanding environment for all children, regardless of how they experience or express their gender.
Conclusion: "The Story of Little Bird" offers valuable lessons on body awareness and safety, its treatment of gender identity could be more nuanced to reflect current understanding and promote inclusivity.
References: Snyder, H. N. (2000). Sexual assault of young children as reported to law enforcement: Victim, incident, and offender characteristics. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics. American Psychological Association. (2015). Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming People. American Psychologist, 70(9), 832-864.
This book can be bought from My Story Treasury.
5. 幼儿启蒙知识库 Little Encyclopedia (Focus on 健康, “Health” Volume)
Pros: The 健康 of the book set has a few pages on toileting. I like that it tells children to be aware of sensory inputs during toileting - e.g. if they're experiencing pain urinating, it might be a sign of UTI and they should inform their parents. If they struggle to poop, it might be a sign of constipation.
Cons: Toileting section is limited, but the other content of the book talks about related topics like hygiene, health and self-care.
This book set can be bought from My Story Treasury.
6. "Nana 拉便便" (Nana Poops)
Pros: This book really normalizes body functions and does an excellent job of presenting pooping as a normal, natural process. By featuring a lovable character going through this everyday experience, it helps remove any shame or embarrassment children might feel about the topic. There are interactive flaps to open, and slider tabs to move, making it extra enjoyable a read for children about toileting.
Moreover, I love the details the book gives about handwashing after toileting, with clear visuals of the different steps.
I bought this amazing book from My Story Treasury, but it's no longer in print/stock. An alternative would be borrowing from Singapore's National Library Board (NLB).
How Toileting and Body Safety Connect
Toileting is not just about learning to use the potty; it naturally ties into body safety conversations.
By giving children the vocabulary and confidence to understand their body’s functions, you also help them take ownership of their bodies and reinforce their right to privacy and respect.
I hope these books are useful as you gently introduce these important themes during the toileting process.
Read about my toileting journey with my children: here.
